landian.

How, in the name of all that is holy, did I ever become keso?

Why did it suddenly become natural to dish out compliments? Why am I suddenly flirting??

Not saying that my flirting is ever effective. It’s just so obviously a come on, and I shudder-slash-laugh-slash-kilig thinking about it.

What the hell?? In a way, I like it.

***********

My Saturdays are usually spent drinking with friends from places that are not usual. In fact, there is barely any thread that connects us, but through some miracle of fate, we’re friends. I may not be as close to them as they are to each other, but being part of that group, being around that bohemian, free-sprited, openly gago aura, is enough for now.

This Saturday tho, Cubao X will be devoid of our presence. Con and the others will troop to the beach, Sidd will be having her gallery opening, and Nii will most probably be trying to avoid Valentine’s Day. As for me, I shall be attending a prom.

Yes, a prom. At 24. It’s just another crazy idea that I am very thankful appeals to my other group of friends. (WTF, I’m suddenly popular?) This group of friends, work friends, is a cartoon realized. We’re a fookin’ sitcom. We’re fuckin’ Dawson’s Creek. Immaturity for the win!

I’m not saying we’re too immature. It’s just that the dynamics of this group is very cartoonish, which is amusing and heart-warming in a cartoonish and stereotypical kind of way.

And yet, in the real-life sitcoms I’ve been, I’m still the eternally single friend.

****************

So. I am laying all my efforts on this new guy I like, but am not in danger of falling in love with. Why not? Well, I’m just not in love with him. That simple.

Doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t flirt with him. A little—a lot. A little lot. Mehe. Theperfect thing is he remains oblivious, or  he pretends to be oblivious so as to spare my feelings of rejection.

The thing is,  I don’t really care. He’s a happpy crush, someone to brighen up an otherwise rotten day. He’s there to amuse me and to make me feel better about myself. And that I could tease him and be flirty with him means that I don’t care about what he thinks and if he left I wouldn’t be crushed.

I love having crushes that won’t crush you.

***********

Dear Diary, Carlo sat beside me today….

-so says that classic hotdog commercial

~ by denice on 12 February, 2009.