big words and 3 mugs of coffee.

Wheeh! September!

Yep, it is the coming of the Ber months and my bank account is still sadly depleted. Oh well, I guess I am leaning heavily on my Christmas bonus again this year. Goodbye Christmas bonus! I lost you before I even knew you!*insert dramatic flailing of arms in despondency*

And, I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I wrote that pathetic little entry Pasilip sa Sulat. Has it been that long? Feels like an entire lifetime ago. It sure feels great to be free! No more gloomy birthdays! (Speaking of which, advanced Happy Birthday Kal! Yep, you saw it here first!)

Sorry for the  irrepressible use of exclamation points. Marathoning Ugly Betty from 12 midnight to 6am takes its toll with severe caffeinerush and sugar high.

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Coffee is a very fickle ally. One moment it rushes you with vivid images and elated sensations, and the next it slows everything down for you and you slowly feel the darkening ebb of fading ecstasy.

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Lots of people have been asking me, “What’s new with you?”

And sadly, I have to answer, “Nothing.”

Despite trying to come up with an interesting if flippant answer, I just tell the truth (so unusual for me, huh.) Nothing new is happening to me.  I actually have nothing to write about today. I just felt like pouring all the excess energy from the coffee into virtual paper, just something to fill the September calendar on my widgets. I actually believe that I am growing more boring everyday, that interesting things are slowly sinking into my mind to be perused there in secret. (My, am I using big words today!) My co-workers have been keeping tabs on my being mean lately so whenever I notice something worth a rather biting quip, I resist. I bite my tongue. I am coerced to becoming normal.

It is part of growing up after all. When you grow, you stop thinking about yourself and become aware of your surroundings. You stop thinking “What about me?” in a really whiny voice, and start thinking solutions, ways to keep the important things running. You stop counting all the wrong things done to you and you start seeing yourself in other people’s eyes. You don’t have to care about what they think. But you have to start thinking if you like yourself the way they see you.

Gee, I wish some people could read that.

~ by denice on 6 September, 2007.