angsty me
Should I or should I not? The urge to sever all ties and ruin SOTE’s life looms before me. I have been plotting for it, wondering how it would feel to finally have that last piece of closure.
Several people are discouraging me from it. Yeah, it’s bad, yeah, I’m supposed to take the high road, yeah, the perfect revenge is to just pretend he doesn’t exist. Really? What’s the fun in that???
I think I would really like to see him hurt. Not just run over by a motorcycle. No, not just beaten unconscious in the ICU. I want to hit it where it hurts. Sabi nga ni Jec, mahina EQ nito. I want to see him where no one can sympathize with him. I want him to experience being alone. I want him to experience being abandoned. I want him to feel like all the decisions he ever made in his life were wrong.
But to tell the truth, I’m scared. I did tell him before, if there is one thing that scares me, it’s actually him. And with fear spawns hate so there you go. Though I don’t even hate him, he’s not even worth the energy. Which is probably why I am still debating with myself on whether to make him suffer or not. I just don’t hate him enough.
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Akh. This week has been very very tiring, for some strange reason. I do not have a stressful job (with the exception of classes with Maya and Comet. But since Comet gave up and I finally figured the teaching style for Maya, life is good!) but I am feeling very exhausted. Tomorrow is Lea’s debut, which gives me mixed feelings of excitement and resignation. Bleh. I need a revigorating spa treatment tomorrow morning! I wonder what time Forever Flawless is open….
By the way, I want to gloat on a great find! Thanks, Annabelle, for this perfect dress! Multiply rocks!
try a cement wall. or any wall. basta maganda ang tunog. im liking it (ej’s fault!!). hahaha. it’s like therapy when there are no pillows around to scream into.
i wish i could comment on redd rock’s blog like the way i can here. eljay has a thing against poor people in net cafes. tell her to move house already!!!!! :p hehehee
i wana go shopping!!!!! waaah
i did not tell poont to break a wall.
but hey.. it is quite effective.
ej, move house.
should i break the wall using my head or someone else’s?
use yours by all means. but use your fists. i dont want the wall to break.
)
yah ej..move house!
and redd rock… you teach by example. hehehee