vanity or self-affirmation?

Imagine me singing this in a really irritating sing-song voice:

 ”WE’RE GOING TO-O SUBIC! WE’RE GOING A-SWIMMING! WE DON’T HAVE WORK ON MO-ONDAY!”

See, I told you it has to be irritating.

******

I can’t remember the last time I went out on an outing. Oh wait, I do. Twas two years ago when I went beach-hopping (literally hopping, we went from Subic to La Union to Pangasinan) with my family. But that doesn’t count, especially since we went on that vacation in the terror that we would not be a family anymore, so you can just imagine the enjoyment that brought. But that story is for another entry.

Back to my point. I am thrilled to go on this trip. Granted I don’t like being stuck in a clautrophobia-inducing car for four hours (good thing we’re going in a coaster), I am excited with the idea of seeing a bonafide beach again. The inflatable swimming pool just doesn’t cut it.

One horror though. Swimsuits! Eek! No no no no no! It’s like a police siren to all my insecurities about my body. (I can just imagine the virtual arrows on my picture a la Tyra-Banks-weight-gain-issue. Ew.)  And besides, now that I am on the “supposed” prowl for a possible “frisky fling” (see previous entry), I should be on my best possible shape. Ekh. So not. I wolfed down Valentine chocolates yesterday. And the day before. And since September….

Oh well, since I can’t have the bootylicious body, I’ll make up for it with the skin. Aha! The perfect excuse to go Forever Flawless-ing. Waahahhahaha. First thing tomorrow for sure, that is, right after I pick up the Rolling Stones Panic! at the Disco issue.

*******

I’ve been very clumsy and absent-minded lately. Distracted, as I would have said if I was still in second-year highschool. Apparently, whenever I have an intense crush on someone, I lose all capability to think clearly. Brain cells drop dead for thinking too much. Oh, godknows how much brain cells suffered when I was with SOTE. It was like brain cell death camp. The Auschwitz of my rationality.

I don’t ever want to be that bubbleheaded again. I am supposed to be a grown woman, capable of making wise and practical decisions. I better gather all of my reserved wits, because godknows, I will be needing them pretty soon.

Yeah right.

I am a responsive, independent and responsible woman of substance. My self-worth does not lie on others and circumstances.

-Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason, Helen Fielding

~ by denice on 15 February, 2007.