the zen of caffeinerush

Gosh. I am such a jurassic blogger.

I have just found out about a certain “Cofi Bean” and “Caffeine Rush” from Grand-Master-of-the-Universe Jec. Apparently, these blogs have been around for a couple of years now, enough to incite the spite of many people. It even spawned its own spin-off, “cofibean(1) “, a disgruntled call-center agent who devotes his blog to the sacred art of getting-back-atcha. How have I lived 22 years of my life without any knowledge of such fun fun things?? How could I have lived my pitiful existence without experiencing the “zennish” marriage of arrogance and utter cluelessness??

No, seriously. They truly are funny. The way Clueless is funny, or the way Dude, Where’s My Car? is funny. Entertaining but completely mindless. Exact ingredients to add to the potion that is Petix. 

I have no intention of joining the name-calling fest, fun as it may seem. I’d rather remain in my blissful anonymity and reserve my opinions for people who matter. But really, I can’t help but reflect over the stupidity and wisdom of blogging, society and the ever-broad and very loose definition of the art of poseur. So why beat them when you can join them?

Reflection 1: The source of all the hype, caffeinerush himself. He claims that he is popular, well-off and a fudging poet. (Ok, people who know me can now imagine *the* smirk) He’s “so popular in starbs daw”. And he’s oh-so-above “all other katutubos ha”. If this guy was ever in the smelling distance of the Kabirds, he would have been chopped, filleted and pounded into unrecognizable mush. Especially if Corine hears him speak. She can’t even tolerate a Karen-and-Me-pretending-to-be-cono combo. Caffeinerush would never see it coming: a nail-cutter slashing his “chino”-laden throat. Beat that, National Geographic!

But I will be ungrateful to say that he is a useless loser who takes pride in something as petty as having no friends to hang-out with so he “makes tambay at starbs”. (Who in this fudging world refers to starbucks as starbs?? That alone defines loser.) Afterall, he was the utterer of the most sublime quote that ever graced this generation: “Mom, I’m not stupid. I’m just an artist.” Take that for profound, you feelingera-poets you!

Reflection 2: With the onslaught of hate comments on his blog, caffeinerush evolved/mutated into cofi bean (I dunno what would be more appropriate, to evolve much like Pokemons or to mutate like the Ninja Turtles. Though it would be very unfair: Pokemons are cute and I loved the Ninja Turtles when I was a kid.). He had titled his new blog  ::Make poverty history. (Pakibaba ang kilay ko, please lang.) Come on, if you can’t be original, at least respect the cause that people are actually fighting for. To blast you would be completely not worth it, but would be completely satisfying. Are you so not born with an introspective gene to realize you are as much as a poseur as the orcs you abhor?

Reflection 3: That all of us are caffeinerush in varying amounts of self-centeredness and cluelessness. I admit, I am a poseur in lots of ways. I guess it comes from wanting a lifestyle that would make people, as Iris would say, go “whoa!”. We are consumed with the desire to be deemed “astig”, though thanks to people like caffeinerush, we slowly realize the hypocrites in us. Instead of letting such losers irritate us (though we are so entitled to such reaction, including laughing meanly to his face.), we should use this as an avenue to realize what exactly are we proud about. As someone wise once said, “Anong ipinaglalaban mo? How do you define heroism?”

 That, caffeinerush, is truly “zennish”.

Reflection 4: Cofibean1, bakla lang ang pumapatol sa bakla.       

I walk with heroes. Think about that.

-Fred , “Angel” (1999)

~ by denice on 19 October, 2006.